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Tuesday, February 2, 2021

How was your night?

  

Innocuous question right?

Well, what if the response you got after cheerfully asking your female colleague this question early in the morning was, “F*** off! It’s none of your dam* business!”

 What if she screamed this at you in a crowded elevator while you and other members of your team were on the way to the office? True story.

I recently saw a social media post of a young Nigerian lady cautioning her followers that it was rude to ask a woman how her night was. Seeing this post reminded me I had come across this same information before, while reading on cultural nuances in the country I now lived in since I emigrated from Nigeria. Further research led me to the blog post that captured the true story in the opening paragraph of this post.

The basic premise is this, and feel free to correct me if you have more accurate information- asking anyone how their night was seems to imply you’re trying to find out how the sex went last night.

Outrageous?

What the hell?!!

I hear your expletives. I hear you scream.

To be fair, I also hear another camp condescendingly ask, “Is that not obvious?

 

 

 

 

Euphemism:

The oxford dictionary defines this as: A mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing.

I faintly remember stumbling on this word as a keen eyed teenager when I decided I was going to read the whole dictionary. Pardon me; I think it must have been a mild head injury from a fall or something. Scratch that. Moderate head injury; because I remember also being keenly interested in the etymology of words at the time.

Anyway, I stumbled on the fact that one of the earliest synonyms for what we now know as toilet was ‘privy’, with its earliest citation in an Oxford English dictionary from 1225. Since then we’d had chamber pot, potty, little house, outhouse, head, john, cousin john, cuzjohn, jake, water closet, dunny, lavatory, bathroom, ladies room, cloakroom, restroom, women’s room, throne, powder room, honeypot, biffy, netty, loo…

Let me shock you- The above list is not comprehensive!

Basically, for as long as man has been able to ‘take a shit’, we have always been embarrassed by it, even though it is a basic physiological requirement. As a matter of fact, when the excretory system does not work as needed, it is a super uncomfortable feeling- Trust me, I’ve spent some time in general surgery. I have seen the agony from unpleasantly close proximities.

 

Roses and Shakespeare

            Since I moved abroad, I’ve had to also shorten bits of my name to make it easier for communication at work seeing how some of my ‘oyinbo’ friends seem to lose the plot once a name is stretched beyond 2 syllables. Again, I’ve heard many arguments from fellow Nigerians in diaspora of how allowing this somehow meant I was ashamed of my culture or how they would learn to pronounce it if they had any respect for our people. I honestly appreciate and understand these concerns but to each his own. My reasoning is simple, paediatric even- you may say. I spend a bit of time on the phone taking and making referrals when on call and making phone calls at work generally and think it’s a bit of a ‘faff’ if I spend half that time teaching the person on the other end of the line the correct pronunciation of my full name. They’d probably mispronounce it anyway and sometimes it sounds really awkward to hear. The sheer irony is that by Nigerian standards, my name is pretty easy to enunciate!

I’m quite confident in my identity and all I stand for that I’m happy to ignore these cultural and identity battles and just carry on with work. In our spare time, I’ve told close ‘oyinbo’ friends my full name and tried, often with little success to teach them the correct pronunciation. When faces begin to turn red, I quickly quote the famous Williams Shakespeare: A rose by any other name would smell as sweet!

We laugh and move on.

 

Concluding Quips

Now that you have taken a peep into my mind, perhaps you might empathize with me on why I find it hard that a question as innocuous as ‘How was your night?’ would cause such anger and uproar. I understand and even support the need for a more sensitive and kinder society but I probably also get why some people are quick to quip with derision ‘Social justice warrior!’ when such a dissent comes up.

A 2011 paper by Aminoff et al is famous for stating that we spend about a third of our lives sleeping or trying to. It therefore feels to me that with a gun to my head, I’d guess you most likely spent last night sleeping, and not give a hoot what part your genitalia played during that period.

The Holy Bible in Proverbs 11 vs. 12 (NCV) says that “People without good sense find fault with their neighbours”.

With age, reading and understanding, I have increasingly come to ignore what is said or done. Rather I find myself peeling through layers and layers of context, cultural nuances, most likely intent, and available information before I decide whether or not to get upset about things.

Anyway, just to be sure, if I must employ a conversation starter with a colleague, I’d probably ask ‘Did you sleep well?’

Better that than get inundated with emails from HR about my use of language. When I get back home, back to the clarity and serenity I find in my thoughts, I can then laugh heartily at how crazy the world is.

 

Author

Oluwaseyi Adebola is the author of the collection of short stories, ‘A Cluster of Petals’ which was shortlisted for the 2019 Quramo Writers prize and the 2019 AFIRE Linda Ikeji prize for fiction. Purchase links and reviews available here: https://linktr.ee/aclusterofpetals

He is a medical doctor who works in the UK and also has a master’s degree in translational neuropathology from the University of Sheffield. Follow him on twitter @laylow1388

 



 

Friday, January 29, 2021

Bad Man by Oluwatweezy Dance Challenge

 



How would you like to win 100 thousand Naira this February?

You can do it while dancing to great soulful music. Yipee!!!

It takes 3 simple steps really:


Step 1. Follow @oluwatweezyofficial on instagram

Step 2.  Download his hot new tune, 'Bad Man' via the link on his bio. The song is also available for download beneath, on his Soundcloud page, Itunes, Spotify and several other blogs and music platforms.

Step 3. Record a dance video of yourself and partner or dance crew dancing to the song. An example is on the Youtube page beneath. Kindly limit the video to a maximum of 2 minutes. Feel free to play around with any concept you fancy. Upload the video on your Instagram page and use the hashtag #OluwatweezyBadMan

Get your followers to like, share and comment on your video!!!

The winning team would be chosen based on creativity, originality and social interactions generated (e.g likes, comments and shares)

Stay tuned on this blog and @oluwatweezyofficial for the official announcement of the winner on the 28th of February 2021 by 6pm Nigerian time.

Ciao! 


Download Bad Man by Oluwatweezy




Click to watch dance video sample


Click to listen to other works by Oluwatweezy on Soundcloud

Click to watch Oluwatweezy's videos on Youtube








Saturday, February 14, 2015

Song Review: "Ogara" by Misty Breezy

     Ogara is the top notch brand new single by Misty Breezy, born Ifeoluwa Awelewa. He is one of those rare breeds with an innate ability to entertain. Originally from Ekiti, Nigeria, he now lives in London, United Kingdom. He discovered his affinity for music during his university years and has since done lots of songs underground with a lot of artistes in Nigeria and United Kingdom. Like everything else he does, his immeasurable desire to succeed shines forth in his music syllable for syllable, snare for snare.
His style of music varies: slow, mid-tempo tunes infused with African flavor, rooted in the great and rapidly evolving Afro Pop genre.



Mr. Gorgeous, Mr. Jovial Misty Breezy is a born entertainer with a special 'thang' for dem ladies and party marshals. Ogara's incredibly superb beat was produced by Scope Nero before being blessed by the delivery of Misty Breezy.

Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready to be amazed?
Click away on the links below to download the song and follow the You tube link below to watch its spectacular video.
Not many valentine gifts come better packaged. Happy Vals!




Friday, December 12, 2014

Artery 'n' Vein


          Tweezy has returned once again with another timeless piece of art. The song 'Artery and vein' is a beautiful song for romance, love and life. The lyrics are top notch, the delivery is superb and the beat is the work of a producer who knows his craft. As the biology geeks will tell us, just like an artery and vein run side by side on their course to sustain life, this song is a story of two souls who are destined to be together.The song was produced by @Doctor_Rex and it follows 'Lai-Lai' and 'As e dey go' as the singles off his debut EP titled ORPHEUS TALES; OF ROSES & SCARS, which is already out on Spinlet and should be available for download here in a few days.
Download the song on hulkshare via this link:

Artery 'n' Vein


 Don't forget to support good music, you can get the other songs on Spinlet via this link:


Orpheus' Tales; Of Roses and Scars


Another Showstopper from the stables of Shockwaves Entertainment. Tell a friend to tell a friend. It is the return of good music. Ciao!







Acknowledgements:
Song art designed by @GraimmyTheSOH, photography by Ademola Adeniran, and special thanks to the beautiful model couple Aisha and Krash for sharing this picture with us

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Darris god o!

     On the wake of the #BringBackOurGirls campaign, one young producer, Black Zaar has tried to lend his own little voice with the only way he knows to speak: Music.
And oh, by the way, he featured a very important personality on this brand new track who goes by the name...
Wait for it...

Wait for it...



Abeg leave tory for tortoise, just gbadun the track by downloading below:

Darris god o!

Monday, April 21, 2014

Song Review: "Lai Lai" by Tweezy {Tha Bohemian}



“LAI LAI” music review

“…It could be hard to believe. Probably even harder to achieve; just open your mind and then you’d see there’s a miracle inside of you…”

Every once in a while, a master of the art of music comes upon an epiphany and is inspired with a new tune. Every once in a while heartfelt lyrics hit just the right chords and a new classic is birthed. Every now and then, a song like this brand new number, “Lai Lai” blesses our eardrums.
Fresh outta tha ovens of Shockwaves Entertainment, “Lai Lai” is the 3rd official single of an artist that is gradually creeping into the minds of R n B impresarios in Naija as the next wonder kid: “Tweezy {Tha Bohemian}. He draws from his personal life experiences as he pours out his soul on this new joint which was produced by the musical chef himself, Doktor Rex. “Lai Lai” tells the story of broken dreams, a bulwark of frustration and the drive to keep on moving on nevertheless. The melody hits you first, the words sink in, and then the soulful delivery makes you want to jump out of your seat to do that one thing everybody has told you was impossible.
First was the love tune “More than Ever”, next came the especially enjoyable “As E dey Go”; Now “Lai Lai {ObaNoDeyGoTransfer}” confirms Tweezy’s chest of musicality as the gift that keeps on giving.
Kindly click on the link below to download the song, and as you share with friends be reminded that there’s no limit to what you can do. Cheers!


 

ALBUM REVIEW: Jesse Jagz’ ROYAL NIGER COMPANY


ALBUM REVIEW: Jesse Jagz’ ROYAL NIGER COMPANY


“…my full name be Jesse Garba Abaga/ feelin’ my vibe/ jukun my tribe/ hail from Taraba/my dada didn’t...”
 Remember those lines, eh? That was the first time we all met Jesse Jagz and I bet you’d agree that since he first dropped those heart thumping rhymes on us, he has grown geometrically to become quite the bulwark in the Naija Hip hop scene. His newest album- Jagz Nation Vol.2: Royal Niger Company is his second project since he nebulously left Chocolate City. It’s an 11-song album lasting for about an hour, four minutes and features artists like Tesh Carter, Jumar, DUGOD, SDC, Tupac, Fela amongst others. Production credit goes to Jesse Jagz, Ezone, Shady Bizniz and a host of other top notch producers.
 ‘Louis’ is a good intro to the album.  Complete with a cheering audience, church bells, easy kicks, soulful singing praying for “wisdom to see that freedom isn’t free” and “…to see the lion in a G”.  Jesse flows incredibly on this song with “bars more evil than Lucifer’s kind” that stirs your sense of wonder, curiosity and anticipation for the rest of the album. Without speaking on a central theme he goes ahead to display King-size bars that only truly cerebral emcees can put together- “apostle of flow/ gospel for the poor/...when emcees are spreading the fake gospel of dough/ I come through to the door/ ….the  rhymes to the bones and cartilage glow…” The song finishes with a sampled impassionate charge imploring you to be charged.  Oh boy! That track was quite the appetizer.
 The second song ‘Jargo’ features Tesh Carter & contains samples of the Chaka Khan & Rufus 1983 hit song ‘Ain’t Nobody’  it also contains a funny & befuddling sample from the 2008 Liberian movie ‘Johnny Mad Dog’ in the beginning.  It’s an Ode to the ladies with Tesh Carter calling on ladies to “…drop ,wiggle your waist and stop…”  and Jesse rapping “sweet loving but she didn’t want more/ shawty we at war/ this house is dafur/ …it’s no lie, its love & hate/ shrugs & aches…”
Oceans & Lakes’ is an easy love song. It features Sarah Mitaru & DUGOD (a producer on the project) and he delivers some ‘Thug mansion’ type bars not aligned with the love-inclined theme of the song. It’s spiced with guitars, electric bass and trumpets.
                Any artist that samples properly is one that understands a certain level of musical history, and anyone that samples Fela (May his Soul R.I.P) is a brave artist. ‘Sunshine’ is a decent fusion of Hip Hop and Afrobeat. It makes it difficult to combine tapping your feet, bobbing your head with listening to Jesse’s impeccable rhyming, showing that he is indeed in “another league” spitting fire flows for the “verbally verified”. A massive hip hop song with impressive internal rhyming. 
‘The Search (Radio)’ is a lovely song from start to finish. Beautiful from the live percussions, electric guitars, bass, drums to the sultry chorus by Jumar, who does really well again. DUGOD also drops a few nice bars on this. Classic tune!
‘Supply and Demand’ is OMG, Hip-Hop!!!  Someone wake Tupac and Gangstarr up!! Reverbs, arresting kicks, samples (“uhn!!, muddaf***kers peep da game”) and of course heavy flows – “…his body is his spirit, his health/ & knowledge is the key to his riches, his wealth/….they wanna scare u with brands & big names/ the whole industry’s just trying to resist change /I spit games, uglier than Ving Rhames/… Respect for the art form, u niggas don’t show/y’all niggas shine but don’t glow…” I’ve just had to hold myself back from quoting the ENTIRE song. Jesse has enough “epistles... to heal cripples” and amaze healthy listeners. Just 8 bars into the joint and it was already my instant favorite.
‘High Life’ is arguably the best marriage of Hip hop and High life ever attempted. A Hip Hop head will love this one just as much as an Olisadebe or Victor Uwaifo lover would. It’s complete with the guitars, drums, horns, Rexx singing in an almost wailing voice and Jesse’s delicious flow. This song is the poster-child of the Nigerian disposition Jesse intends the album to embody. It starts off with a funny yet serious soliloquy in Igbo. This number is also one of my personal favorites of the album. Watching a live rendition of this song would give me exquisite pleasure.
            ‘Sunrise (shine on)’ has the feel of a late ‘90s action movie sound track. You’ll snap your fingers as you listen to Jesse spit “...still trying to get your ears, to listen with ur soul nigga/catch the flow quicker/….so Biggie, so Pac, and it’s so Jigga / …  Shine on for the galaxy /we turnin’& we spinnin’ on wheel of Alchemy”. The song ends (as it started) with engaging Tony Montana (From the 1983 classic movie Scarface) sample that you would want to echo and give an approving nod to.
                The mood on ‘The Case’ is laidback. The beat is so laidback it’s a boring listen. It takes nothing from the heaviness of the flow though- Topnotch. “SDC/ JagzNation??!! Mehn, what a pairing!”. Jesse features S.D.C, two of the finest emcees in the country, on this song but he still leads the pack. He was colossal on this reminding us that “he speaks the truth when u might believe in fables/ do u believe in angels/or fake names and labels” While singing “u running when no one is chasing you/...above me only God can judge me”. Ghost was angry on this song and Tec also dropped anvil bars too – “the ways of the sheep can never make sense to the lion…”
‘The Window’ made me look out my window. And no, not to wonder as Jesse asks on the song, but to look for the ‘mumu’ Rooster crowing in broad daylight--bizarre start to a nice song.  Jumar’s singing laced with bongo drums, trumpets combines with Jesse’s rhymes to give the song an Amazon feel. Jesse also tried to maintain a particular rhyme (-air/-ere) all through but jettisoned it in the final verse (thank God, he was starting to get boring).
Another favorite, ‘How We Do’ is a befitting end to the entire album. Contains claps, kicks, flutes and a Tupac sample as powerful as a preacher’s sermon (brings Freestyle’s ‘Braggin’ Rights’ ft Blaise, back to mind). The hook is simple and encourages you to sing along. Jesse splatters amazing lyricism on this song, as usual- “and this how we learn to fly/...u’re d eagle, am d hawk with d raven’s eye/ …we taking off in the humid heat/ wing span’s about 300cubic feet/...what’s that thing coming down thru the stratosphere/ ...ur chest cavity & back just adapt just to air/ ...it’s so Retro/ Jagz wrote d memo/ whole albums can’t step to my Demo/…my flows tactical/ mathematical/ and practical too/ radical jew…” Phew!!!!!
 His sophomore album, Jagz Nations Vol. 1: Thy Nation Come revealed Jesse’s depth as a Rapper but had too much ‘Selassie/reggae’ influence and hence divided opinions. Jagz Nation Vol.2: Royal Niger Company however is an exceptional expression of art and shows Jesse indeed as a prodigious musician who wants to make, and more importantly, share music from his heart without any restrain on his artistic direction. The album isn’t an appropriate soundtrack for our national life as Jesse hoped it would turn out. It doesn’t describe our collective challenges (corruption, greed, hypocrisy, Boko Haram etc) neither does it proffer solutions to them. It is however an excellent oeuvre and indeed “a testament to hard work and artistry”. I say it without any fear of contradiction-- this is one of the best Hip Hop albums out of Nigeria.
Considering all the “tungba-tungba” music currently rocking our airwaves, I can’t help but wonder- Will this obviously formidable work get the appeal it deserves? Is it marketable in Nigeria? Well, I’m afraid that once again only time will tell.
RATING 4.5 Stars!

Download some of the songs here:


About the Author
The Writer, Cheyni (@itscheyniright) is a music enthusiast and writes from Abuja.